And that`s how it`s about not getting their points with the speakers, and the listeners don`t get the information they want. From these discussions put on, equally well-drafted agreements and, before we knew it, we prepared ourselves for some epic misunderstandings. For those of you who like to understand how things can begin from an individual`s point of view, we propose a gradual evolution of the way silent chords are created. This is the story of a person as it all began. If you look at Sarah`s introduction in silent chords, you can see yourself in some of these scenarios. Your story will show you how silent chords begin, become stronger and always show themselves alive. Once you know where they come from, you will be better able to choose a new path. Silent chords in your relationships work the same way as this, but with more levels. Here, we sometimes keep a squent about what`s going on beneath the surface, even though your behavior reveals you.
For example, your partner experiences your real feelings when you experience your fear of sexual intimacy in the form of headaches in bed. But he agrees (tacitly) not to say anything about it, because he fears that if you two talk about the subject openly, the real reasons for your disinterest could be so serious that he might never have sex with you again. He also wants to avoid an uncomfortable conversation about sex, because he doesn`t want to say out loud that he doesn`t have sexual confidence and therefore finds women intimidating. He therefore relies on them to continue to help him to keep his worries and feelings quiet. I sometimes call it “the hypnosis of youth,” the things we learn early on, that become our opinion on how the world should work and how to play the game of life. And that is the beginning of the agreements that we are beginning to conclude with ourselves. But what we often don`t see is that some of these agreements are conscious, but many of them are unconscious. Conscious diversity is spoken or written. Unconscious agreements are unchallenged, but they are often just as powerful to us, even if we may not even be aware of them. Staying the course with our agreements means applying these good practices in a consistent manner. The alternative is disastrous and costly.
Believe me, I`ve seen it. And so on. We bring these agreements (which often look like opinions) everywhere. The same is natural for everyone else. And that`s exactly how the disagreement over what was said, what was said, or what should be, suddenly becomes much more likely.